Fucking Doods.

I swear! Men have no idea the powers they posses! Assholes! Man. Sometimes I wish we were all women. Then I realize that's kind of gay and I don't mean it. I just wish men weren't such dicks.
So there's this dood I like. Sort of. It's not that I like him... it's that I want to. I'm in that initial stage of being caught in his web. You know, the knee buckling, the drooling, jaw dropping, dumb look on your face when he walks by type bullshit. That's me right now. Retahded? Indeed. However, it is how the game goes. Isn't it? You're all familiar with the process so stop judging me jerks! Hahaha...
Anyway...
What I'm starting to realize is he may not feel the same. I guess I shouldn't have indulged myself so quickly. I might not be so dumb to what he's making pretty damn obvious. Or.. is he? Gah!!!
Whatever. I'm an insecure woman and he's a dick. DICK! Asshole... mother fucker. Indeed.
He's also super hot. :/ He's the type that's easy to day dream about (if you catch my drift, wink wink wink wink wink wink wink!!!) He's... "dreamy" I guess. That's what my mom said about Mike Mathasen when she was in high school. But how did that turn out? Yeah. I'm not calling Mike Mathasen daddy now am I? No. FML!
So what do I do!? I don't know. I have been out of the dating game for SOOOOO FING LONG that I have no idea if it's still even called DATING! Who does that anymore? DATE? Isn't the modern way to day to wink, smile, and pull your pants down? I don't know... but I would. With him. I would. Well... maybe I wouldn't wink. That's kind of lame in the heat of the moment... but you know.

GRANDMA... I'm sorry if you're reading. I know I sound like a whore. It's not true... I just want to be for him. You know? I'm sure you understand. I apologize though. Love you <3

Ok. I need to practice my smile in the mirror. Later.


Sarah